Vacation

This week has been a tough week for me since I am on new medication and now I am not so use to the hot anymore. I know that it been a long time since I have written but it been a bad month. I was in the hospital again and it was horrible. Than when i got out I had to pack for vacation and clean my house cause I had my brother in law stay at my house while we were out of town. This all was a lot for me to handle. This week I have been going and going I fell like the engineering bunny. For people that know me I have one good day and one bad day and this on vacation is not an option. So while I have my bad days I do dot tell anyone and just pray that I can get though it. Today is a bad day and it been hard since we are not going and going so now I had some time for myself and that is the worst thing for me since I do not need that ( Doctors orders) I need to keep on going and for me just to sit here and wait is like putting a shot gun to my head and say pull. Well I am not alone I have Jacks mom with me. This day better get better cause if it does not I am going to have an attack any minute. Jack mom does not know what to do so should I tell her or not?

I want to SCREAM!

Well i just found out that my husband has everything else on his mind beside what we use to want. Well I am so pissed off at him and my doctor I want to scream. It not fair that I have to put up with this and I know it all about marriage and what the other person thinks is important to you but what if they are not thinking straight. I want to just kill myself and get it over with so no one has to deal with poor little DIANA!

Horriable day at Doctors

WOW What a day at doctors. My doctor yelled at me today for following the direction from another doctor that I been seeing for more years than her. When this medication made me so sick and I could not even stand. NOW have a new medication fluphenazine that might be good for me instead. Now I have a new medication that might be good or bad. I hate people being disappointed in me and that i now feel guilty for not telling her soon what my other doctor told me to so. I hope that this medication does not have a bad reaction!

sick

The past two to three days I been sick with stomach pain and nausea. I hate feeling this way. I drinking gingerale  and it not working. I wish that i felt better than normal. This is not working today keep on going back and forth to the bathroom(TMI i know) I just feel sick and i hope that I'm not coming back with that stomach pain again. I know that this sucks and that i hope that it will go away. I hope that this will go away but when I looked it online it says I'm pregnant but I know that is not right. This sucks!

Exciting day

Today I was proud of myself that i kicked out my husband for like fifteen minutes so he would not bother me while i was doing homework. This worked since my homework is done for today. I know that he upset that I did that but he needed to get out. Now we are relaxing all day. Jack can see the t.v a little and now is not causing me any problem. Very thirsty today and have a big day tomorrow. Well today was not a bad day lets see how my sleep goes.

Better Day

today was a better day. Jack went to the doctors and found out that he has to be out for another week. This is a week that from hell. Jack been home keep me distracted and now i lost my routine.Been having days that I wish that just would go away. I not being getting any sleep cause i been having night terrors.  I wonder why i been not know that this would ever stop. I know that i glad that Im alive but my brain is killing me. I know that we cant keep contact on our brain it has a mind of its own but i would like to keep knowledge that I will not kill myself this week. It so hard and i been though my medical can not work. What is wrong with my life and I can not believe that something like this can happen to be since all that I can think of. 

Going Crazy

TODAY I HAD TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR! God was on his side when he was in the wreck. I am having so many problems trying to take care of myself and him. I want him home but not all brused like he is. This is going to be one hell of a week. I hate that I can be well enough and I have not had time to release. I have to be strong and I going to enjoy just that my husband is safe. I do not want to complain but I want to do more for my husband and I think that i an not.